One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that the hardest part is making the decision.

It’s not.

The hardest part is living with the decision after you’ve made it.

Every leader eventually reaches a moment where there isn’t a perfect answer. Every option disappoints someone. Every choice comes with consequences. Sometimes you’re deciding who gets the last room on a sold-out night. Sometimes you’re changing schedules because someone called off. Sometimes you’re coaching an employee who has incredible potential but keeps making the same mistake. Other times you’re making budget decisions that affect people you genuinely care about.

No leadership book prepares you for the weight that comes after the decision.

People often imagine leadership as confidence. The reality is that leadership is usually uncertainty. You’re constantly asking yourself:

“Did I make the right call?”

“Could I have handled that conversation better?”

“Did I miss something?”

If you care about your people, those questions never completely go away.

I remember believing that once I became a General Manager I’d finally have all the answers. What I discovered instead was that the questions simply became bigger.

Leadership isn’t about knowing everything.

It’s about accepting that you’ll never have every piece of information, making the best decision you can with what you have, and taking responsibility for the outcome—good or bad.

That’s the part people don’t see behind the lobby doors.

They see the smile at the front desk.

They see the calm during an upset guest.

They see the quick answer during a crisis.

What they don’t see is the leader replaying conversations during the drive home, wondering if there was a better way.

The truth is, every good leader second-guesses themselves.

The bad leaders don’t.

Good leaders care because people matter.

But there’s a balance.

You can’t allow every decision to haunt you forever. Reflection helps you grow. Rumination only keeps you stuck.

I’ve learned to ask myself three simple questions after difficult days:

What went well?

What would I change next time?

What lesson do I carry forward?

Once I’ve answered those questions, I let the rest go.

Leadership isn’t about being perfect.

It’s about getting a little better every single day.

Your team doesn’t need someone who never makes mistakes.

They need someone who is willing to own them.

Ironically, the moments that have earned me the most respect weren’t the times I had all the answers. They were the times I admitted I didn’t.

“I made the wrong call.”

“I should have communicated that better.”

“Let’s fix it together.”

Those words build trust far faster than pretending you’re always right.

The longer I’ve been in hospitality, the more I’ve realized leadership isn’t measured by how many decisions you make.

It’s measured by how you carry yourself after those decisions are made.

Do you blame?

Do you hide?

Or do you learn?

That’s where leadership truly begins.

So if you’re reading this after a difficult day, wondering if you’re cut out for leadership because you’re questioning yourself…

Take heart.

The fact that you’re asking those questions probably means you care enough to become a better leader tomorrow than you were today.

And that’s what real leadership looks like behind the lobby doors.